babooneh tea
by RebelzHeart
Summary: MJ meets Jessica Jones. Part 18 of a cup of tea series.


After the war is over, MJ drops by with her punk boots and worn jean jacket.

"Loser," she greets Peter with an incline of her head and he silently steps aside before she can elbow her way into the apartment. "Brought your homework," she lifts up her binder, which looks to be colour-coded and set in neat order, and Peter falls in love with her at that moment.

"Thanks, MJ," Peter reaches for the binder and she pulls away, raising her eyebrows.

" _Thanks, MJ_?" She asks incredulously, "You seriously think that I'm letting you getting away with _thanks, MJ_?"

Okay, fine, in hindsight, it was stupid. "I have a guest over." Peter shuffles his feet and shrugs.

Toeing out of the living room and peering at Peter and MJ with growing amusement, Jessica and Matt listen (Jessica also watches) contently. "Oh, no," Matt, sadist that he is, seems to take great joy in seeing Peter suffer. "Don't let little old us get in the way of this _riveting_ conversation, we would _never_."

Jessica doesn't say anything so long or sadistic, just raises an eyebrow and says, "Don't be stupid, kid," which might almost be worse because it implies some things that Peter seriously does not need to be implied about him.

MJ raises an eyebrow at Peter.

"IhaveanexcuseformissingschoolIswear..."

" _Obviously_ you have an excuse for missing school," MJ pinches the bridge of her nose, "Knowing you, you probably got a huge hole in your torso and were unconscious for most of last week."

Peter turns bright red as Jessica and Matt start coughing really loudly.

" _Not helping_ , guys," Peter hisses.

"It's so accurate that it _hurts_ ," Jessica wipes tears from her eyes.

" _MJ_ ," Peter whines, "Stop making fun of me!"

"Yeah, yeah," MJ pats Peter's head, "It's chill, it's fine. Ned's been super zip over it, though, he says that he doesn't want to talk about Spider stuff without you, which I kind of get but is also _super_ annoying when I'm trying to gather info. So you need to spill."

Peter chokes as she shoves the binders against his chest and then she lets go, letting him fumble for the papers. "It wasn't a big deal," Peter says, some desperate attempt at making MJ go away. "Really."

"Mm-hm," MJ says vaguely as she rustles through their cupboards for... something. After a while, she pulls out their Babooneh tea. "Fancy," MJ says, admiring the box for a brief moment before ripping it open and pulling a black mug out of the cupboard with a Nightwing symbol on it. "This yours, Peter?"

"Yes," Jessica says while Peter squeaks.

Jessica looks very amused by Peter's pain.

"Cool," MJ throws Jessica a nod, a quick lift of the chin before she dumps a teaspoon of the tea leaves into the cup. "You got hot water?"

Matt smiles and moves to the kitchen, "Allow me," he says, ever courteous, despite the fact that MJ just stole Peter's favourite Nightwing mug. "If you don't mind?"

"Nah, knock yourself out," MJ cocks her head to the side, "Not literally, I mean. I'm sure that you do enough of that on your night job."

Jessica bursts into a loud coughing fit as Matt turns bright red, " _Peter_ , you told her?" He asks, sounding confused.

"Please," MJ snorts, "He didn't need to tell me. I figured it out within the first ten minutes of the aftermath of Washington."

Peter ducks his head down, "I'm not the best at covering my tracks," he admits.

" _Not the best_ ," MJ shakes her head as though to ask _what am I supposed to do with him_? "You changed in an alleyway in _broad daylight_."

"In an _alleyway_!"

"With no _cover_ ," MJ shoots him a pointed look, and then turns to glance at Matt, "Your kid is kind of an idiot."

"True, true," Matt mourns.

"An unfortunate fact of life," Jessica agrees.

"I hate you two," Peter pouts.

Jessica pats the top of his head idly as MJ pours a spoonful of milk into her tea. "If you could ever hate _anyone_ , I'd leave you everything I owned in my will."

"You don't have a will," Matt mutters.

"I'll make one, just for Peter," Jessica answered lightly, "If he ever figures out how to be spiteful, I'll roll in my grave just to tell him that I'm proud."

Peter frowns, "I'm pretty sure that's not how the saying goes."

"Doesn't matter," Jessica wiggles her fingers and gives an airy sigh, "You're too pure."

" _Truth_ ," MJ offers Peter a catty grin. "You got any rock sugar?"

"We have sugar cubes in the third cabinet," Peter supplies, "I'm not too pure!"

"He's right," MJ nods sagely, "He's just the right amount of pure. It's adorable, really. If I wasn't destined to become the single bachelorette president of the United States and then go on to dictate the course of the universe, I would try to court you."

"Okay, first of all, _we agreed to limit yourself to the United States_ , MJ, why are you changing your life plan again, and second of all, that is many levels of weird that I'd rather not go into, including, but not limited to, you are asexual and aren't interested in romantic relationships."

"I _said_ , if I'm not going to dictate the universe," MJ huffs, "Keep up. Anyway, I can change it all I want, I decided that I won't have the unnecessary stress of being world dictator if I appoint leaders to serve under me to take the load."

"Like a president or a king?"

" _Exactly_ ," MJ nodded, "You can have Canada."

"I thought Ned was getting Canada?"

MJ huffed, "He changed his mind. Decided that he wanted France because of their desserts."

Peter dips his head, "Can't argue with that."

In the background, Jessica whispers something to Matt about his kid being cute but disturbing. Matt laughs and awkwardly agrees.

"Don't worry, Mr. Murdock," MJ takes a long sip of her tea and smiles sweetly at Matt, "You can have Japan. High crime rates, smaller land mass, tall buildings, cleaner air than the USA and China. You can even find yourself a ninja girlfriend to fight people with."

"Much obliged," Matt's lips twitched into an amused smile.

Jessica raised an eyebrow, "What do I get?"

"You don't want a country," MJ waved a hand dismissively, "Too much work and you won't do it, you'll just pass it off to someone else. I'll give you a high ranking if you keep potential ursurpers in line for me, though."

Jessica inclines her head, "It works," she conceded.

MJ finished off her tea, "Anyone want a cup?" She asked, raising it.

Peter ran his fingers through his hair as Jessica barked out a laugh, "Why not?" Jessica asked, "We'll have a toast to you taking over the world."

"It's a ten year plan," MJ said, smiling.

(And thus began the legend of how MJ Conquered the Universe.)


End file.
